Grief doesn’t always look like tears at a funeral. It can show up as numbness, anxiety, guilt—or even laughter. There are many types of grief, and understanding which one you’re experiencing can make the healing process feel less confusing and more compassionate. In this guide, we’ll explore 7 common types of grief, each with real‑life…
Different Types of Grief
Grief is a deeply personal journey, and no two people experience it the same way. That’s because grief wears many faces—sometimes obvious, sometimes hidden beneath the surface. And when we don’t recognize our grief, it can make us feel isolated or even “broken.”
The truth is, what you’re feeling might be more common than you think. By learning the different types of grief, you can better understand what you’re going through—and how to navigate it with kindness and care.
1. Normal Grief (Common Grief)
What it is:
Grief reactions many people expect—sadness, anger, disbelief—usually intense at first, then gradually less so. Over time, acceptance often begins to emerge.
Real‑life example:
After her father died, Sarah cried daily during the first few weeks. As time passed, the sharp pain softened. She still misses him deeply—but she’s able to laugh at their old jokes and think of him with warmth more often than pain.
What helps: talking with family, journaling, doing memorial rituals like lighting a candle on his birthday.
2. Anticipatory Grief
What it is:
Grieving before a loss happens—when someone is terminally ill, suffering, or when an expected change looms. The grief happens in advance of the physical separation.
Real‑life example:
Josh’s mom was diagnosed with late‑stage cancer. Even before she passed, he found himself grieving: imagining life without her, trying to get ready emotionally, sometimes feeling guilty for wanting more time, but also loving the moments they had together.
What helps: acknowledging the grief, having open conversations, finding ways to prepare and connect while there’s still time.
3. Disenfranchised Grief
What it is:
Grief that isn’t fully acknowledged by others. Losses that society may not consider “important enough,” or where people feel their grief isn’t valid.
Real‑life example:
When Devon’s ex‑partner passed, people didn’t understand his deep sadness—because many said, “You guys weren’t together.” He felt lonely in grief, as though he didn’t have the right to mourn publicly.
Other examples include pet loss, loss of a former close friend, or grief from a terminated pregnancy.
What helps: finding people who understand, allowing yourself permission to grieve, creative expression or writing to validate the loss.
4. Chronic Grief
What it is:
Grief that doesn’t ease with time. The emotional intensity stays high, interfering with day‑to‑day living. Sometimes it doesn’t follow the usual pattern of gradual healing.
Real‑life example:
After his sister died suddenly, Marcus continued having overwhelming waves of grief two years later. Sleep was hard, socializing felt draining, and even small tasks felt heavy. It wasn’t that he hadn’t tried to move forward—he just couldn’t fully.
What helps: professional grief counseling, support groups, giving yourself permission not to “get over it” quickly.
5. Abbreviated Grief
What it is:
Grief that passes more quickly than expected. Sometimes because the person has done emotional work in anticipation, or because circumstances allowed acceptance sooner. Doesn’t mean the loss mattered less.
Real‑life example:
When Emma’s grandmother passed, Emma had already been preparing mentally during illness. She felt the grief deeply, but within a few months she found herself returning to routines, finding peace, though she still missed her grandmother.
What helps: allowing yourself the full cycle of emotions even if the timeline is short; acknowledging your grief; remembering it’s okay for grief to look different.
6. Traumatic Grief
What it is:
A particularly severe or sudden loss—such as an accident, violence, or unexpected event—that leaves shock, sometimes trauma, along with grief.
Real‑life example:
Losing a child in an accident, or a loved one in a disaster, can bring traumatic grief: intrusive thoughts, difficulty believing it’s real, nightmares, physical symptoms of stress, hard time trusting in safety or order afterward.
What helps: trauma‑informed therapy, safe spaces to share the story, gradual exposure, self‑compassion, support from others who’ve experienced similar loss.
7. Absent Grief
What it is:
When it seems like someone is not grieving—or their grief is delayed, suppressed, or hidden. It may look like they aren’t affected, but inside there may be shock, denial, or avoidance.
Real‑life example:
Ben didn’t feel much at his father’s funeral. He was numb. Months later—on what would’ve been his dad’s 60th birthday—he broke down, overwhelmed. Only then did the grief he had suppressed begin to surface.
What helps: recognizing even hidden emotions, giving yourself permission for delayed reactions, talking or writing about what you’ve felt, or getting support when the emotions emerge.
Why Naming Your Grief Matters
When grief goes unnamed, it can feel confusing, isolating, or even “wrong.” You might wonder, Why am I not crying? Why can’t I move on? Why am I still angry?
Recognizing the type of grief you’re experiencing helps you:
- Understand your emotional responses
- Seek kinds of support that fit you
- Be gentler with yourself and others
Grief isn’t just about who you lost—it’s also about how you lost them, what they meant, and where you are in your own life.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. How long does grief last?
There’s no fixed timeline. For some, grief softens in weeks or months; for others, years. It’s not about “getting over” the loss, but learning how to live with it.
2. Can I feel more than one type of grief at once?
Yes. It’s common for grief types to overlap. You might experience anticipatory grief before a loss, then chronic or traumatic grief afterward.
3. Do I need therapy?
Not always—but in cases of chronic or traumatic grief, or when grief feels overwhelming, therapy or support groups can be very helpful.
4. What if others don’t understand my grief?
You’re not alone. Many people experience disenfranchised grief. Finding someone who will listen, or spaces designed for grief, helps.
5. Is it okay to feel joy even while grieving?
Yes. Grief isn’t linear. Moments of joy, peace, even laughter are part of the journey too, and don’t diminish your love or loss.
There’s No Wrong Way to Grieve
Grief isn’t a single emotion—it’s a landscape. It stretches and changes. By learning these types of grief, you give yourself permission to feel what you feel—without shame or pressure.
Whatever kind of grief you’re carrying, you deserve care, patience, and healing. You aren’t alone in this. And there is a path forward—even if it looks different than you expected.—
If you like, I can pull together further resources or stories of people who’ve experienced each type, to make this even more vivid.
